Measuring

Four days ago....a week ago today....2 weeks....one month....first Christmas without....an 8th birthday....a year ago today....July 4th will not be quite so exciting, because July 5th comes right after it.  For my cousin and her family, measuring time will be different than it was before.

And because of your willingness to fight for them on your knees, they can face these days

and months

and years of measurement
with a quantity of strength.  

During a battle for life, through a faithful pursuing for mercy and grace and miracles, in this bent position it seems that the mightiest of warriors show the strength of their One Commander and Friend, facing horrors with hope and courage, 

bridging the gap between the depths of despair and 
the simple act of

just 

breathing

 as another day of one less 

is followed by another day 

and another 

and another.

And in those times when your bodies were not at a place where your knees could bend, even then your hearts and souls have fallen prostrate in the presence of God.  

Fighting. 

On your knees.  

Face down. 

Eyes closed. 

Hands raised in surrender,

in pleading. 

Prayers of love and mercy and faithfulness pouring faster than the tears...

   

source

For the measure of your hearts

for the amount of your tears

for loving my family like it was your own

for waiting with us while we wait for good news

for rejoicing when the good news comes

and

for fighting in belief for healing and comfort and peace

...

You all have gone a great distance for us on your knees, and we thank you for it.  

Broken

We have had a bit of heartbreak the past two days.  My cousin (on the maternal side) went to sleep one night, a family of four, and awoke before sunrise to a living nightmare and devastation.  And that is what this whole thing seems to me:  a nightmare.  Devastation.  Especially if I focus on what has become lost to them.

Fire, heat:  overwhelming

Home:  gone.

Baby books, photos, first blankets, favorite toys:  destroyed.

Security:  ashes

The 8 month old puppy who didn't stop until the adults were woken:  a hero, but gone

This precious smile and beautiful, fun-filled eyes....

oh!  This is where the pain becomes unbearable.  


This little cousin I did not know, but who is the image of his mother and his uncle, playmates of my youth.  I look at that beauty, in those eyes, in that smile, in the shape of his face and the fun bursting from his 7 year old self...and I ache for his family and my mommy-heart cries out with his mother.  


Yes.  In some ways we are broken, our hearts making tracks down our faces, feeling crushed beneath grief, disbelief, anger, guilt.  Those emotions that seem to follow one another like a falling house of cards.  


But surely and faithfully, as details are being shared, God is showing me a few things about His mercy.  


People the world over (and I hope you will join them) are praying for this little boy's parents and his little sister.  She is still fighting for her life and God is showing me that there are many the world over fighting for her, too.  Illinois.  Indiana.  Michigan.  Texas.  Kansas.  Arkansas.  Missouri.    Florida.  New York.  California.  Colorado.  Mongolia.  Korea.  Nicaragua.  China.  Russia.  Many points in Africa.  Germany.  Canada.  And this is just a few of those shielding this family with their prayers of faithfulness.  


My little cousin did not suffer like we imagined he did.  He slept through it all, was found resting peacefully in his bed before being taken to the hospital.  All too soon for his family, though, after arriving at the hospital, his waking did not happen in the arms of his earthly parents, but in the arms of his Heavenly Father.  


His little friend, who was there to spend the night decided just a couple hours earlier that he needed to go home.


The puppy they purchased just a few days before...and this astounds me!...that puppy worked to save the family, taking desperate measures in waking up dad.


And there are more pinpoints of God's mercy, lighting our way through this dark tunnel of sadness.


Often, even midst all that goodness, it doesn't seem fair.  That, though God, in His mercy and love, saved many....it hardly seems fair that one did not make it....and another is facing the biggest fight for her life at the age of 4.  And, there are moments (hours?) where we ask why?  Some of us shouting out in anger.  Some of us shaking our heads in disbelief.

Bent over,
pressed down in grief.

But still....in the Father's hand.

Broken?

yes.

Hurting?

terribly.

Loved...cherished?

ahhh!

Yes!  Most definitely!

Psalm 34: 18  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 

    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

JOY

Flash mobs are such a fun way to share talents and the hobbies and pleasure of many.  I love seeing footage from a flash mob.  Sometimes, the efforts bring me joy that comes from me in laughter and smiles....other times the joy runs from my eyes and down my face.  The video of the flash mob below is a mixture of both for me: